The T. a ranT.

"Chahlee Cahd"

So this would be my beloved Charlie. Rumor has it that he was this man, who hopped on the T, and the fares changed while he was on it, so he wouldn’t have the ca$h to tran$fer trains, so his wife kept feeding him sandwiches from the platform and he rode forever.

no cash for the t? must’ve been a college student.

so while i love charlie, and i do love how the rare boston accent one comes across pronounces him “chahlee,” i do hate many a thing about this so-called “transportation system.”

The B-Line Green line train runs right through BU’s campus, or “’tis the spine of BU’s linear campus,” as Student Admissions Ambassador Valentina will inform prospective students and families. While the green line splits into B, C, D, and E, trains. Evident it is that the B line, which is ALWAYS THE ONE EVERYONE IS WAITING FOR, is not only the least frequent train, but also the SHORTEST, AND THE MOST CROWDED.

while every BU and BC student smushes towards a pole for balance like frantic Bees leaving a hive, E line riders are relaxed and seated in their comfortable, spacious, 6-car long trains. double-you tee eff.

FURTHERMORE, never will a Y chromosome give up his seat for a woman or a struggling elder- and always does the driver insist that passengers “move all the way into the train, please.” WHERE? WHERE WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO GO? I AM ALREADY CLOSER TO THESE MEN THAN I HAVE BEEN TO ANY MAN IN THE PAST 3 WEEKS, THANK YOU VERY MUCH. and this guy looks happy about it… ergh.

on the other hand, another major T pet peeve is when there is CERTAINLY plenty of room on board, and insouciant college students ignore the option of stepping UP to allow others to stand at the nook at the top of the stairs, or along the steps. Selfish T space-taker-uppers are the worst.

All of this is made no better come break time, when every college student packs onto the T with a suitcase that contains predominantly dirty clothing for Mom to worry about washing, all headed to the same Park Street stop (the first subway stop! and the one pronounced THE BEST: “paahhkk” it’s real great to hear a local say it). From here, every student usually transfers to the Red Line, bound for the airport or bus terminal, where they have no doubt missed their original trip and plan on looking sadly enough at the guards to let them on the NEXT megabus home. (what? i’m not speaking from experience. huh?)

so, i am sorry MBTA, and i apologize Charlie.

but you just do not provide enough of a pleasurable travel experience for me to feel ALL THAT BADLY about reaping the benefits of the Trolley portion and hopping on fare-free. At $1.70 a ride, you really should be offering complimentary Twix bars. Cause those start with a T, and always offer a thrilling, delightful ride.

end. rant.

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