RAISE YOUR TEACUPS!
To continue the frappucino commentary- MCDONALDS WILL NOW SHAME YOU STARBUCKS.
McDonalds already wowed everyone with their Newman’s Own coffee and their McCafe launch that had everyone pleasantly surprised that they could enjoy a latte for under $4. It felt wrong, and I was confused. A hot mocha beverage for LESS than the price of an entire meal? I didn’t understand and my throat was befuddled when I would sip McCafe beverages. THEY WERE SO REASONABLY PRICED! And every red-blooded American loves Paul Newman. Duh.
It was genius of old McDonald, and last April, when I walked into a New York McDonalds, I saw a new item on the menu. An item that was sure to satisfy my actual, eternal, unending, craving for a milkshake that I typically quell with a latte because it matches my outfit better, and walking down the street with an iced coffee is more socially acceptable than if I were to stroll with an extra large UBurger Chocolate shake.
Because, fact is, I AM ALWAYSSSSS IN THE MOOD FOR A MILKSHAKE. Milkshakes are delicious and amazing AND FUN and the only thing tastier is tuna tar tare. Glistening above the McDonalds register was a sign advertising a new concoction, that for 2.99 plus tax for a small, I was willing to endeavor into the unknown for. A mocha frappe. No whip. I never liked whipped cream, but HOLY MOTHER OF MOSES SMALL MOCHA FRAPPE FROM MCDONALDS I HAVE LOVED NOTHING LIKE I LOVE YOU. I GIVE YOU 18 THUMBS UP AND WILL INDULGE IN YOU DAILY.
They’re perfect. They’re like a jillion hugs loving and gliding down your throat! Like a mocha coffee milkshake, they’re not too icey like Frappucinos, and they’re already CRAZY sweet so I don’t have to take the time to add sugar. A small is more than satisfying, and at this price, I can actually afford you! And McDonalds are EVERYWHERE SO I CAN ALWAYS HAVE YOU. So, dear mocha frappe, I love you. That is all. Everyone go out and try. Unless you don’t have a sweet tooth. In which case, go drink a green tea or something cause mickey dees frappes are not for the diabetics. Raise your teacup to the frappes, and drink up!