ICE is NICE Free Marketing, Brah.

OK.

So if you are a human, you are likely aware of the new VIRALity with which “icing” has taken over society.

There’s been stuff written about it in The Huffington Post, (on many occasions) and Christ, even the NEW YORK TIMES wrote about it. TWICE.

Apparently, when a BRO approaches a fellow BRO with a smirnoff ice (the wine coolery beverage, which is by no means traditionally associated with masculine, testosteroned BROS) the approached bro must chug the drink, or “block” the ice with an ice- block shield-like protection, yadda yadda.

I have a vagina and am not really clear on the exact rules and regulations, please see article links above for a man’s descriptions. (insert eye roll here).

SO SMIRNOFF SHUT THE SITE DOWN!!!!

brosicingbros.com, which I understand started somewhere in the southern fraternity region (#shocking), has gone DARK.

the site now looks like this:

I THOUGHT THE WHOLE CONCEPT WAS GENIUS FREE MARKETING! Smirnoff Ice used to be a shameful girly BIDDIE drink made for the Sammis of the Jersey Shore to sip from a crazy straw between dips in the jacuzzi while donning a coconut bikini.

What a great way to re-brand the drink for an ETERNALLY LOYAL alcohol consumer: THE BRO. These are the young men who are the future of the world! Those who buy 16 kegs for a Friday night and devotedly pick a beer & stick with it. Smirnoff Ice is now associated with this bro, and Smirnoff shouldn’t care that it MAY support excessive drinking. This has been the best alcohol campaign since Budweiser’s “Real Men of Genius!”

….and sorry Smirnoff, it’s not like your site screams support for the Pope and staying in on Saturday.

While I cannot personally condone the absolute absurdity and COMPLETE ridiculosity that is this “game” I CAN most certainly say I’d LOVE to see the sales of Smirnoff ice from this past month, as I am sure they SKYROCKETED in the untapped male markets age 21-34.

Fools, $mirnoff. Fools. You’re an alcohol. No one expects you to be a nice, soft, fuzzy brand we love and admire for promoting responsible drinking. Leave that to Tropicana. You picked the colors OF THE DEVIL to be associated with your drunk Russian selves. So rake in the $ales and enjoy your new throne in the kingdom of Fraternity Row.

End. Rant.

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4 responses to “ICE is NICE Free Marketing, Brah.

  1. Bwahaha. Yes, this is all true. I think it is wonderful free marketing for Smirnoff. As well, is it weird that I’d like pretty much every bro ever to fall in a hole?

  2. michaiahvosberg

    I don’t segregate drinks with different sexes, but statistically, guys drink bitter drinks like beer and whiskey (in the Midwest, girls drink whiskey but it’s SoCo mixed with Mtn Dew) and females drink sweet drinks like B&Js and wine coolers.
    Thankfully, Colorado is not so demographic. People just drink beer, and a lot of it. We have a beer fest just because Oktober fest doesn’t satisfy us for a full year.
    I realize the blog was less about demographics and more about advertising. I’d like to point a little finger toward New Belgium’s advertising strategy, to include free bike-in movies at the brewery, and Tour de Fat. This ridiculous festival may be as cheesy as the viral campaigning of Smirnoff, but for a local brewery to pull this off is quite a feat. Those a long way off from the drinking age (like 5 and 6 year olds) are still participating in this event, and they will remember it. When they turn 21 (or 13 and can drink beer without throwing up) they will open a bottle of Fat Tire for the first time, turn to their friends drinking PBAs, and say “I grew up with this.” That is smart advertising.

  3. Pingback: Tweets that mention ICE is NICE Free Marketing, Brah. « ValenTEA Party -- Topsy.com

  4. The point of Icing is making your bro is to make him drink something that he doesn’t want to, in a way that is pretty uncomfortable. Icing is not about enjoying a Smirnoff, and Bros don’t want to enjoy them for their taste, but just for the game. Icing continues the brand of Smirnoff being a “shameful girly BIDDIE drink made for the Sammis of the Jersey Shore to sip from a crazy straw between dips in the jacuzzi while donning a coconut bikini.”

    And that’s probably why they want it to stop.

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