I have no remote sense of how to begin to express my experience in words, for the English language is trop petite, je pense. I spent last weekend visiting friends from school in the Hamptons. I already felt tooooo swanky Serena/ Carrie as I boarded a Southampton-bound Jitney across from Bloomingdale’s.
On board, I swore that this really Jewish-looking woman sitting diagonally across from me looked familiar, but thought “Okay, Valentina, not EVERYONE you see is a celebrity spotting.” I kept picturing her in the type of show that runs on ABC, where she’s wearing a plum suit jacket proving a feminist point. I thought about Ally McBeal, West Wing, etc. I tried to listen for her last name when she gave her credit card to pay for the Jitney, but I simply wrote off an “Edelstein,” as another Jewish New Yorker going to stay with her girlfriends in the Hamptons.
I turned on Bravo yesterday, House was on. Lisa Edelstein is actually Dr. Lisa Cuddy, and HOLY I KEEP RUNNING INTO CELEBRITIES! I’m not going to question it, but my god I wish I could’ve placed her at the time/ watched House. She seemed very genuine, had very pretty hands, was wearing an awesome ENORMOUS octopus ring on her pointer finger, and judging by her awkwardly leather-less shoes and her wikipedia page, she really is a vegan.
My host, the delightful Miss Stephanie, and her other guest, Karina, picked me up from the bus station, and we proceeded to binge on seafood at Le Chef in Southampton. SO YUMMY. We walked around window shopping, while I controlled my urge to quote the Hamptons Gossip Girl episodes: “Mother Chucker!”
I had come for the weekend to attend a benefit that Stephanie’s mother was throwing for a museum in Southampton. Stephanie’s mother, (who is so stereotypically FABULOUS in the most wonderful event-hosting way HUMANLY possible) was essentially the host for The Parrish Art Museum’s Midsummer Party. Sounds like a nice, sweet, event. Yea. When Stephanie invited me to the event, I assumed it’d be a charming evening on Long Island. I DID NOT, HOWEVER, THINK THAT I WOULD BE AT WHAT MAJOR NEWS SOURCES EXPLAINED AS “THE MOST ANTICIPATED” OF ALL HAMPTONS SUMMER EVENTS. ALDSGKJAOIRGAJFKLGHAJLKFGH
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We helped with the check-in, and to call the experience surreal, is again, a GROSS UNDERSTATEMENT. My tweets were out of control, as we were sitting there, the guests arriving got more and more unbelievable. They weren’t even celebrities. They were A-LIST. LIKE THESE PEOPLE COULD PURCHASE ME IF THEY FELT LIKE IT. They were quintessential A-list FABULOUS. Proximity to them that evening was the highlight of… MY LIFE. so sad. but so unashamed to admit.
My celeb-spotting, face-placing skills came in handy, I could spot them before they gave their name! I was real proud.
Darren Star, as in DARREN STAR PRODUCTIONS, AS IN HE WROTE AND PRODUCED SEX AND THE CITY FOR YEARS.
I can’t even get into the freak-out that happened once I saw THE JAY MCINERNEY ACTUALLY STUMBLE INTO THE TENTS.
I finished “Bright Lights, Big City” mere days before. AND HERE WE BOTH WERE, SWEATING UNDER THE SAME TENT!
This was especially cool, because McInerney is actually a guest on the episode of Gossip Girl where they go to the Hamptons, so really the weekend only further perpetuated my delusion that I AM BLAIR WALDORF, BLAIR WALDORF IS ME.
The view from the back yard. OH NBD. THE HAMPTONS ARE HEAVENLY!!!! It was an INCREDIBLE weekend, I’m still freaking out from it, and have begun planning my outfit for next summer. 😉 I LOVED MEETING THE MADISON FAMILY AND FOR THE WONDROUS GLORY THAT WAS LAWNG ISLAND! THANK YOU THANK YOU! Still pinching myself.
SO MUCH FUN!!!!
Here’s the rando video from the crazy lady who looked like a 78-year-old Lady GaGa.
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