No, Zac, We’re The Lucky Ones.

I’ve been inspired to blog because my own inner monologue needed to make it’s way online.

I’d like to take a moment to discuss the recent trailers for “The Lucky One,” Zac Efron’s latest blockbusting hit. Aside from the movie previews which lasted upwards of 7 minutes and included so many plot twists I cannot imagine that seeing the film would bring to light any new character dilemmas, the television trailers are the things which great SNL shorts are made of. The shower intercourse, the war veteran, the beacon of hope that is any woman of a Nicholas Sparks novel, all provide great structure for a basic parody of film trailers.

Yet, the most strikingly delightful aspect of these clips is the return of the Zac Efron serious face. What is this serious voice? WHY MUST YOU PAUSE SO MUCH?  What is this “acting?” What is this aggressive flaring of your nostrils when you are making points? WHY DO YOU THINK YOU CAN COMPETE WITH THE ONLY NICHOLAS SPARKS ADAPTATION THAT WILL EVER MATTER, EVER?

Recall, if you will, the classic High School Musical moment when Coach Bolton charges in on Troy and Gabriella in the gymnasium, as they are mid-dribble, giggling and wrestling with a basketball. Gabriella is introduced to Coach Bolton, and flees the gym with the excuse of more musicALE practice to be sung. As she frolics out, Troy, played by young Efron, FLARES HIS NOSTRILS AND SAYS IN HIS NOW WONDERFUL, SERIOUS-FACED MANNER: “That girl’s NAME… is GabriELLA. …and she’s VERY NICE.”  Well, why Zac Efron hasn’t been given the Oscar yet is  beyond my comprehension. Hopefully this next Taylor Swift-lover marketed film will be his Academy attention-grabbing role. Until his nostril flaring acceptance speech, I will watch his talent beam from the likes of HSMs two and three.

End rant.

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